“How you do anything is how you do everything.” This one, very powerful phrase was first introduced to me by my great friend, meditation teacher, mentor, and hypnotherapist, Myke Zykoff; it has made me realize so many things about myself, some of which I knew, but wasn’t consciously facing. This has been one of those phrases that comes to the forefront of my conscience repeatedly, and that is where it is happily hanging out now. It likes to remind me, make me aware, almost like a “hey! remember me?”
Yup, I remember you. Thanks for visiting, I appreciate your reminders, going off like a set alarm whenever I need a shift of focus, or a call to attention. So what led to this visit…
I had lunch with one of my favorite spirits, Stephanie (her blog is awesome BTW VeegMama check it out!). We chatted, ate yummy vegan food, and then went off to connect with ourselves in meditation class. As soon as I sat on the green yoga mat and began writing I had an epiphany: “I am very hard on myself.” As we emptied our brains onto paper in the form of words, I felt a shift, a moving of internal “stuff.” I’ve been feeling a lot of resistance lately, in many areas of my life; across the board I would say. I recall this feeling, I’ve experienced it before, and every time it has shown up in my life it has resulted in growth, motivation, inspiration, and awareness. I am blessed to have a sense of being an observer of myself… you know, me and my multiple personalities! HA! What I mean is, I’m able to step back and be in complete awareness of what I’m doing, why, and where the behavior comes from (whether an outdated reaction or belief, a defense mechanism I picked up along the way, etc). Anyway, in that moment, as I sat, cross-legged, engaged in deep conversation with my journal, I came to the understanding that I am hard on myself about EVERYTHING; because, you know, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” Relationships. Food. Work. Lifestyle. Exercise. Weight. Habits.
Just to show HOW MUCH writing is a tool for self-discovery for me, I just now, as I’m writing this, realized it all comes from the outdated and erroneous belief that I’m not good enough. Flashing lights, angels singing, trumpets blaring…. aaaaah there’s such beauty in awareness. Good enough for who? For what? Ok, well, I can go back to specific times, situations, and places that contributed to the development of this monster, from inception, but I won’t overwhelm you with the details. But, this monster likes to poke it’s ugly head in ALL my business. In its defense, it is a monster that I created, and invited to stay for tea; it’s a thought that, through repetition and my brain’s translation of outside information, became a belief…thus setting up shop and overstaying it’s welcome. But let me tell ya, it is time to kick that MOFO out FOR GOOD. I’m throwing it and all of its associated baggage on a one-way train.
You are the only one that determines how you feel about yourself. Your outside world is only a reflection of how you feel internally. If you’re like me, and have experienced feelings of unworthiness or not being good enough, then the universe will deliver exterior situations and circumstances that subconsciously prove this… and because our egotistical brains love to be right they will soak up this information and say “See, I told you you aren’t good enough!”
So here’s what I ask of you, right now, as you are (and I promise I will do the same): Accept that in this moment, AS YOU ARE (had to say it again so it really sticks), YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! I AM GOOD ENOUGH! WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH! I encourage you to seek out your monsters, these outdated and erroneous beliefs that keep you from the wonderful life you deserve, and replace them with unicorns and rainbows (did I take it too far? ok FINE …Insert a magical being of your choice here). Whenever the monster peeks its head say, “You’re crazy because I AM GOOD ENOUGH!” Say it out loud, say it in front of a mirror, say it a million times, and think it over and over and over and over. Even if you feel silly, even if you don’t believe it at first. A repeated thought will, eventually, become a belief system.
I ACCEPT THAT I AM GOOD ENOUGH.