We are all in a perpetual state of attraction.  Whether we are aware of it or not, our thoughts are powerfully charged magnets pulling into our life experience that which we are most focused on.  When we are not proactive in our thought-choosing process, we begin to experience less than pleasant situations, circumstances, etc.  Many times, when we experience something deemed unfavorable, we are left wondering things like, “Why me?” “How did this happen?” and other similar thoughts.  Because I know I am a powerful being (YOU are, too!!) creating my life thought by thought and choice by choice, I ask myself: “What was I thinking (and as a result, doing) that attracted this into my experience?” or, simply put, “How did I attract this?”

That is precisely the question I asked myself after my last failed relationship.  Because of my inquisitive and introspective nature, I like to get to the bottom of things for my own understanding.  Even though that relationship ended about a year ago, and I am in a great place in my life, there was something unsettling about it; about how it ended.  I felt I had to figure out how I attracted that into my experience.  The logical part of me knew that it HAD to end for my personal and professional growth.  Without getting into the intricacies of the relationship, it just wasn’t for me; and many times throughout those 3 years, I felt it, but ignored the gnawing discomfort.  Nonetheless, over the past year, on different occasions, I found myself thinking, “How did I attract that?”  Particularly because my ego felt I did not deserve what happened and how it happened.  Additionally, part of me was fearful that, if I didn’t figure it out, I would continue to attract similar situations.  Which, I thought I was doing, considering the dating experiences I was having as of late.

Today, I released some knowing that was in me all along (as Myke Zykoff, my great friend, life coach, and meditation teacher, says).  Perhaps this happened because I’ve been on a detox for the past week; one of the spiritual/emotional side-effects of cleaning house.  Whatever the trigger or reason, I realized I didn’t attract the end or failure of that relationship.  You see, I believe in a sweep-me-off-my-feet, intoxicating, passionate, fairy tale kind of love.  I also believe that there are good men.  That relationship had stopped being what I wanted well before the 3 years were over, and it HAD to end because it wasn’t what I believe love should be.  About a year ago, I began really tuning in to my magnetic power.  The calling for what I wanted (and what I no longer was happy with) became so strong that MANY things had to change or end: my old job, my relationship, in order for me to continue on my path of attracting and manifesting what is really in my heart.  In retrospect, the whole situation screams to me “DISTRACTION!”  That’s it, that’s exactly it!  I was getting sidetracked and staying in relationships and jobs that didn’t feel right, and that no longer served me; but those choices to be there were only delaying the process of manifesting what I really wanted.  In whatever way it had to happen, I had to be freed from that relationship.  Even though, on the surface, I thought I wanted to be there, turns out the Universe knew better.  I was there for the wrong reasons; same reasons I stayed at my old job: safety, stability, comfort, and fear of change or the unknown.  But, finally, the Universe gave me the nudge, I jumped, and a net appeared.

Now, rather than thinking, “How did I attract a failed relationship?” I am seeing it as, “I’m attracting what I want and what serves me, so, logically, what doesn’t serve me will have to fall to the wayside.”  Whatever may have ended, happened, not happened in YOUR life know that it’s not happening TO you, it’s happening FOR you.  Rather than asking yourself, “Why me?”  Believe that there is a reason, a lesson, an opportunity.  Then, continue on your merry way to attracting what your heart really wants.