Can you imagine being told, “I will love you when you’re in better shape,” “I think you’re great, but I would really love you if you had more money,” “I would really fall in love with you if you were prettier.” What kind of messed up person would say that to someone, right?!? In the midst of the “Oh heeeeeeell no” that is going on in your head right now and the, “If someone EVER told me that!!!!!!” sassiness you got going… what if I told you, someone HAS told you that before? In fact, you’ve probably heard it several times, in different ways and through different actions, from none other than YOURSELF. Yup. Think about it. We set all these conditions for love and happiness. “Sure I like myself…but I would love myself if I lost a few pounds.” “Yea, life is alright, but I’ll be really happy when I get a promotion.”
You wouldn’t take it from anyone else, so why take that kind of limited conditional love from yourself? And yet we do it almost daily. Judging ourselves, beating ourselves up, and depriving ourselves of self-love because we aren’t this, don’t have that, and don’t look this way or that. Ok, so let me ask you this: when does it stop? When you attain that thing you think you want or need to love yourself or be happy…will you, in fact, love yourself and be happy once and for all?
When you set conditions for love and happiness you send a message to yourself and the Universe that you are not worthy, not deserving, and that you are not enough as you are. When love and happiness come only if this or that happens, that love and happiness will dissipate if the conditions set forth change. How fleeting and unfulfilling it is to love and be happy based on factors outside yourself. And funny enough, like I mentioned before, we wouldn’t take that from a partner or anyone else, and yet we set all kinds of conditions, not only for ourselves, but for others as well. “I will do this for you, but what do I get out of it?” “She didn’t invite me to her party so I’m not going to invite her to mine.” “I love you, but I really want you to change.”
Conditions keep us away from the true love and happiness that we deserve, the true essence of joy that we are at the core. When we were born, we were blank slates, bouncing baby boys and girls with no expectations. When and how did we start setting all these conditions that became a brick wall cemented one condition at a time keeping us disconnected from feeling unconditional love for ourselves and for others and experiencing happiness regardless of the circumstances? Love and happiness are states of being. How beautiful it would be to love and be happy independently of the changing tides of life. Because you deserve it. Because the world needs it. Because it would be a complete waste of your beautiful life to spend it incessantly wanting and basing love and happiness on getting.
By no means am I saying not to strive to be better. What I am saying is you don’t NEED to be anything other than what you are to feel love and happiness. Working on yourself is a part of life, but as you do, accept and love yourself without conditions. Be gentle, be kind. Kick the conditions to the curb.
I love you…without conditions.